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You play the sticks and they wear down, the experienced guy will usually replace them before they break because they start to bounce funny. Heads start to sound dead and usually will get replaced (I've NEVER broken a drumhead before).
Cymbal quality (at least I've noticed with Zildjian) has declined. I can play on cymbals that are 30+ years old with no problem, cymbals that I buy now are lucky to make it over a year, usually if they do then they will survive a long time (I've got about 5 that are "lifers"). Technique? No, build quality? Yes. If I can play the same amount on 30+ year old cymbals and not worry about cracks but my 1 year old cymbal is starting to sound like it's cracked (and then it is cracked...), it's not technique, it's the product.
products showing wear or becoming worn and products being destroyed/breaking are two different things. Yes heads and sticks wear out and to some extent cymbals wear out. Like I said in my post it's ok to have reasonable expectations from gear but I don't expect sticks and heads to last forever that's why I replace them on a regular basis. But if I install a fresh set of heads I do have a certain amount of useful life. For me the useful life isn't determined solely on how long the head remains intact, I base mine off of how the head sounds. When the sound begins to diminish it's time for a new set of heads. Playing with poor technique will always accelerate the amount of time it takes to break something so it directly influences how a product wears. If you flat out break cymbals, sticks, and heads all the time at some point you are going to have to realize the products aren't the only culprit. And if you honestly keep using the same stuff that consistently fails you there is another issue.
But improper technique is what causes cracks, dents, and beyond unless you have a bad product (and I'm sorry but there aren't that many poorly made products). In the event that good technique is used (which I posted before) you just have unreasonable expectations from your products. Don't expect a pair of sticks to last you a whole year if you practice an hour a day 5 days a week. Don't expect a set of drumheads to last 5 years without having a cosmetic flaw, an intonation problem, etc.
Maybe products are lessening in quality but the point of my argument is with proper care and technique most breakage is preventable and IT IS.
Think about it like you'd think about keeping a home or a car in good working order. You have to change the oil, rotate the tires, keep the belts in good shape, etc. IE PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE. Preventative maintenance on a drumkit means replacing heads on a regular schedule, keeping your bearing edges smooth and clean, checking the hardware fittings, fine tuning your kit, etc. If I follow a preventative schedule on my car I don't expect there to be issues with the tires or the oil.
Yes product quality can influence useful life but bottom line is if you are thrashing the hell out of your stuff and completely unaware of your technique you will break anything regardless of how well built it is. If I throw a dinner plate as hard as I can against a stainless steel counter or door it's probably going to break regardless of how expensive/well built it is.

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